Paranoid Android

>> January 4, 2011


I have in, in my young life, been exposed to a great deal of addictive substances. I nod in agreement everytime Chef reminds us that there is a time and place for everything; and I think I have, more or less, done most things that can and cannot be reasonably expected of a young adult in college to do. Over the years, in fact, I have come to believe that I am naturally blessed with a strong disinclination towards dependency. I liked to think that the higher being that I am- occupying the tip in the evolutionary pyramid so far- it would simply be shameful if my happy existence were to depend on non-living things.
Apparently, I have been living in a delusion. Over the past week, my body has been exhibiting strangely uncharacteristic physiological symptoms which I have observed very closely. As soon as I’m withdrawn for a couple of hours, my head begins to ache at the temples. The pain slowly and steadily radiates throughout until I can finally feel the blood pulsating in my brain. I become moody, and withdrawn, and tend to sleep all the time. I’ve figured out the solution, though. The moment the first appearances of the headache are made, I determinedly strut off to Chetta’s and ask him for the manna. A cup of extra strong double coffee.
Ah. How I do wish I could adequately articulate what the first sip of coffee means to this addict. The brown bitter-sweet aroma. The flavour of the frothy warm concoction spreads through my head and my limbs and I feel again. In fact, by the time I am done with the whole cup, the headache disappears. Completely. It doesn’t show up for a couple of hours, at least. I suppose this is what an addiction is. To be rendered completely dysfunctional without one’s daily dose of one’s preferred substance.

I need coffee rehab. I'm not sure if it's comforting, but hey, at least, coffee is totally legal. I'd hate to break one more law.

3 Comment(s):

maverickshash January 10, 2011 at 5:20 PM  

I can relate to what you are talking about because ,I come from the exact same place you must be staying right now.

I always wondered what it must be to be someone who cleared the exam I failed twice(which I believe you must have cleared to be at the law school):-D

Nice blog ..!
PS: I need a Chetta's manna fix within a day of landing in blore..:-D

Captain Aloof January 16, 2011 at 9:42 PM  

Coffee and cigarettes, that's the combination!

Anonymous,  February 3, 2011 at 5:11 AM  

I like this. This little ode to the sheer delight of ones preffered fix. I know what you write about when I wake up groggy, reach for the pack of gold flake kings and proceed to take in the first few drags of smoke for the day; when I get back home after another hard day at work and feel the THC enter my bloodstream slowly; when after a sunny day on the field, the first few drips of cold icy beer hit my throat.

There's not much I can add here. But I do think that sufficent attention has not been paid to the first sip, the first drag, the first needle prick, whatever the poison, but the first sweet moment of administration after a hiatus.

The best thing about addiction and dependency is the first pleasure. I've had a similar experience once that showed me what true dependency was. In the golden days of my stoned youth, there came a day that a few frieds and I found ourselves in the middle of a lake in the slyvan outskirts of tumkur. We of course reached said middle of lake by swimming, but having reached the middle, it dawned on me that I should relax a bit and proceeded to try floating on my back. Needless to say, I started sinking, and in my panic forgot how I came to be in the midle of the lake in the first place. To cut a long story short, survival insticts kicked in and i managed to figure out that i knew swimming and proceeded to extact myself from the situation.

Resting on the rocky shores of the lake, I, for the first and last time in my life came face to face with the greatest dependency of our lives. Air. The first few breaths of air i got after the scare. The next time someone tells you they dont know what depenendance means, tell them to hold their noses.;-WHM

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